Human behavior is fascinating.  By taking a step back and witnessing how humans function, you take a huge step forward in your personal development.  Observing how people select their spiritual discipline is a great place to start.

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I have said before that I needed a better reason to be Christian than that I was born to a Christian family in a predominantly Christian nation.  However, you do not need to look too deeply to see that is the primary way people do it.  If you were born in a predominantly Muslim nation, very likely you would be Muslim.  This is of course true for all the major religions.  You would think that fact alone would give people reason to pause and reflect deeply.  As some Catholics have said, “Give me a child for the first five years of their life and I will give you a good Catholic.”

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I have also been fascinated to observe that people select a Guru and that is it.  The idea that only their Guru is the real deal is incredibly common.  Even more incredible is to see some of the people that are put in such a position of Guru and how they attained it.

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First being from a foreign country, often particularly India, helps.  There is something about the cultural norms of behavior and dress that enraptures westerners.

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Speaking with a strange and enchanting accent is also a very effective way of being promoted to the title of Guru.

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The performance of miracles is another favorite criterion.  As Einstein said, “There are only two ways to look at life, one is that everything is a miracle, the other is that nothing is a miracle.”

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Remarkably even to this day, people are quick to think of things they do not understand as miracles.  Whether or not it is true, I have, many times been offered to be given mantras through which one can perform miracles.  I have turned them down every time.  Such things are, more often than not, manipulations of energy and of people.

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Someone once commented to me that they felt people were more willing to listen to me since my hair began to grey.  I responded by saying that I would like to think that people were not that shallow.

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Indoctrination into a cultural or sub-cultural norm, and subsequently finding someone who aligns with that criterion for a spiritual teacher, is the number one way people select their Guru.

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Where is the growth in finding someone who conforms to your current world view and clinging to that?  Once a Guru is selected in that manner, the cake becomes baked and no one else can be accepted as having that stature.

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I realize that I am in delicate terrain here.  I say this in all humility and sincerity.  To evolve beyond your current state, you will do well to get clear on the nature of that state. This is not easy to do.

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So how to wisely pick a Guru?  It requires an integration of thought, feeling, and reflection.

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The challenge with thoughts is that you can justify anything with the intellect.

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The challenge with feelings is that they can be based in personal bias and distortion instead of deep inner truth, each of which feels pretty much the same.

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Reflection means taking time to be with thoughts and feelings with the willingness (this is rare) to question the source and motivation of those thoughts and feelings, and thereby evolve/move beyond them.

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The ability and act of doing this in an ongoing way throughout life is called a life of discernment.

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As Adi Shankara said, that is, in and of itself, the path to enlightenment.

Everything is all about balance.  You have all the ingredients you need.  The question is, do you balance them well?  Proper balance of heat and cold is required to temper steel.  The subtler something is, the more delicate and elusive the process of balancing becomes.

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For example in physical fitness, diet, rest and exercise must be balanced. Even with the scale and mirror to monitor progress, this is a great challenge. Few are able to navigate those waters to achieve a great physique.  Imagine an arena, where no such monitoring is readily available.

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Personal evolution is such an arena.   As well as being the most subtle of endeavors, evolution requires great attention be placed upon proper balance. So many factors must be balanced.

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Two such factors are activity and rest (meditation).  Balancing these two things is critical if you are to temper the steel of life.

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Those who live in the world tend to be dominated by activity at the expense of meditation.  In the ashram, meditation dominates and must be balanced with sufficient focused activity.  Habit must be overcome, be it the worldly habit of outwardly directed activity, or the ashram habit of the stillness within.  The tail and the kite must function as one for evolution to happen.

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The bliss of the Absolute is so charming that it becomes an annoyance to have to focus in the relative aspect of life.  If left unchecked, this leads to imbalance.

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Of course, the individual does not think they are out of balance. They feel they are enlightened, or at least getting there. Yet unchecked, it becomes clear to everyone else that they are becoming dysfunctional!   It is the responsibility of the head of the ashram to temper the steel.

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In a case such as this, the instinct of the student is to avoid the process of integration.  After all, basking in the transcendent feels so good.  Why, they wonder, must it be disturbed with activity?

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However, to integrate (balance) the absolute with the relative within the physiology of the student is what evolution is all about.  Yoga means union.

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If you are in the world, the opposite is true:  The question becomes “How can I take time to meditate with so much to do? I can not even sit still for a moment.”  Once again, yoga means union.

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Everything is all about balance.

Duality is separation.  Separation is painful.

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Union is bliss. Love unifies.

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If we feel separate from someone or something, it’s unsettling. We might look up at the star-filled sky at night and feel melancholy, as though we are incredibly far away from someone.

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Connection, on the other hand, is blissful. We might talk with someone and feel as though we really joined up with that person, and there’s a joy and fulfillment involved.

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The natural tendency of life is to move back to oneness.

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We long to unite, we want to feel a communion with our fellow humans, we long to understand, and we want to merge with life.

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The force that propels us takes the duality that we’re functioning in and brings us back to oneness.

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This force, which brings duality back to oneness, is love—it’s God’s love flowing through us.

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The force that pulls duality back to unity is called love.  It is the driving force behind everything we do.

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Love makes the grass grow – it makes the birds sing.

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Love is the only force that exists in the entire universe.

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It is the energy of healing. It makes the galaxies move and it makes our hearts beat. God’s love is your love.

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It’s the only force in the universe.